Stories about solo-travel in comfort and style

My controversial opinion

I recently had to travel for personal reasons, not connected with my love for leisurely trips. That also meant that I had to stay abroad for a few weeks, which in turn made a hotel stay impossible; I mean, I am not Coco Chanel, unfortunately.

Staying in an apartment – and don’t get me wrong, it was a very nice apartment, centrally located and generally quite fabulous – I was, however, again reminded why I loathe staying in apartments when traveling. For starters, the owners hardly ever manage these properties full-time. Thus, you always get exactly that: someone who is “looking after” you and the flat on the side; never a priority, never fully committed, never top-notch service. They’ll fit you in between work and family life, even though you are a paying customer, not a relative coming to stay.

And then, there is the usual that seems to come with every flat – globally. Stuff doesn’t work. You get the induction, and already you are being told that the toilet flush is temperamental and doesn’t work properly; you’ll have to push a few times to make the water stop running. I mean, first of all, what is it with toilets that literally everywhere you go, there’s an issue with the flush? Second, why don’t you, dear landlady, just get the plumber to fix it before you accept paying guests?

Then, we have the miscellaneous electric issue or broken boiler or what have you. Yes, they are kind, they understand, they call the electrician/handyman and yes, he’ll come tomorrow. At three o’clock? Yeah, that’s great, thanks. Because that’s really what I came here for. To wait for the electrician. Fantastic. And you know (or should have known) the guy doesn’t show up at three, but he’ll be there at two-thirty because he can, and you are still with wet hair coming out of the shower; lucky you were wearing a pair of trousers already when he rang the doorbell. And I am not even going to mention the shoes-in-the-flat issue. It is what it is. He won’t know English, that’s clear. Luckily, I know a few languages; that usually helps. And he’ll use your fresh kitchen towel to put his tools on. Don’t worry, he’ll be very kind and carefully put it back later, as if you were totally still going to use that to dry your dishes.

Speaking of the dishes. Yes, you have the de luxe flat with the dishwasher, and wow, they even have about two dishwashing tablets left so you can lay off the groceries for half a day, but guess what, you are not just staying for two days, so of course you’re going to the supermarket and buying new dishwasher tablets immediately. Only to then find those cute little red lights blinking when you first want to run the dishwasher. And then you go the next day again, to buy the salt and rinse aid. And when you are there in the local supermarket or drugstore, buying wiping cloths (why do flats never have them?) and sponges – because the one you found was minging and, yes, all the crockery in the cupboard was kind of sticky and you need to wash stuff on the side because you cannot run the dishwasher for one cup, can you? – you ask yourself: is this really why I traveled to a foreign country? To queue in a store buying cleaning products for a flat that isn’t even mine?

Another classic is the: why are there no hooks to hang towels? What are you supposed to do with those? And tissues? Kitchen towels and toilet paper? Always on the last roll, half down and the olive oil on its last drops. So you have to go buy that, too. And even though you did find some Tupperware in the drawer, it’s the rubbish kind that doesn’t close and all your cut fruit goes brown. By that time, you are already kind of fed up with sponsoring the landlady and decide to buy kod kineza, i.e. the local Chinese market that stocks absolutely everything and most definitely constitutes a fire hazard.

You buy your Tupperware and really got to remind yourself that, no, you shouldn’t buy hooks or a trash bin for the bathroom, because it isn’t your bathroom after all. But, of course, you are going to spend on stuff you did not need and more importantly, you are wasting your time. I already don’t particularly enjoy dealing with handymen or doing that kind of shopping at home. Constantly armed with bags schlepping about kitchen towel and dishwasher salt, you spend your day – doing chores.

All the things that holidaymakers seem to buy must be appearing in the black hole of the landlord’s households. Apart from the leftover shampoos and shower gels – of which there are plenty in the bathroom and which you neither need nor want to try.

The other side of the holiday apartment coin is the fact that you are losing out on so much because you create your own little microcosm, cooking the same food you cook at home, having the same breakfast, and missing out on interactions with the locals. It’s a bit sad, really; in the first three days of my stay, I felt like a student equipping my dorm again; ping-ponging between the flat, the Chinese, and the supermarket. I had a few relaxing coffees in the meantime, but that was all. Had I been in a hotel, I would have seen so much more, and I would have gone out and had dinner or lunch or both. I would have been helped and served by people whose job it is to work in tourism and restaurants.

In a way, I really do understand those locals who seek to curb the holiday home trend; taking up precious living space that the locals can no longer afford without really contributing much to the economy. I get it. And from the traveller’s perspective, I also think it is a bad deal. If you are going on a short trip that does not really require you to have access to a washing machine, etc., I would really urge you to reconsider the holiday apartment thing. It just isn’t worth it. Go to a hotel, get pampered, get looked after, and simply enjoy! Experience the food and the culture, not just the local supermarket.